Should I let him go?

Hi guys!

So I met a guy early February and we hit it off instantly. We met on a dating site and the first time we spoke on facetime I felt butterflies that I'd never experienced. I was talking to other guys at the time but literally after talking to him I just started letting them go.

We spent valentines weekend together just because I was free that weekend and so was he and it was insanely good. We talked for hours, we laughed a lot. The best thing was I was able to be really really open with him about myself and I thought he felt the same.

We spent most of lockdown together until one day it all went very very left. We had discussed like talking stages etc and because he's had a few bad experiences he told me he wanted to take things slow which I honestly understood but struggled with because to me everything felt so right. When I was with him I was just whole and he made me a better person. and to top it off the sex was fantastic!

One day I started getting symptoms of what I thought was an std. I was so stressed as I didnt know where it came from or anything and I wondered if hed been sleeping around but highly doubted it. Like I said I've been able to be honest with him before so I told him straight up that I thought I had something and he went off telling me I needed to focus on myself and get spiritual healing, he wanted to focus on himself etc etc. He was so dismissive of me and I reacted badly and basically said well anyway I need you to tell me what you want because you keep saying you dont want a relationship when you treat me like I'm your girlfriend.

Then he blocked me.

I was heartbroken but also understood. I got tested and of course I was over reacting it was just a really really bad yeast infection. I ended up emailing him because I missed him and he emailed me back saying his test was negative too but he didnt want to plan a future with someone who potentially could've given him an std. I had told him that I've had two before, one from my ex fiancee cheating and one from a situation I didn't disclose to him so I started wondering if maybe he views me in a negative light because of this.

Hes now back in my life, he says he wants to be friends but honestly km struggling. should I tell him how I feel and cut off the friendship? Do I have a chance to get him back if I keep the friendship going? At the moment I'm not even open to dating someone new because they wont be him and I think staying friends is going to make that worse....