The pain of losing my twins

How will I ever overcome this pain? My heart hurts beyond repair. 3 days ago we learned our sweet little identical twins hearts had stopped. 2 days ago I had to go in for surgery to remove them. I was praying all night and day for them to be wrong, I just wanted my babies to be ok. We tried for these little angels and wanted them more than anything. We’re blessed with 3 beautiful babies but that still doesn’t take away this pain and nothing ever will. We love all of our children and I’m trying to stay strong for them because they have no idea what has happened. I just wish my babies were ok. I just don’t understand why this happened and I know I never will. My friend is also expecting twins and I’m beyond jealous and feel a little resentment and I’m not trying to.

While she’s in labor feeling pain of her beautiful babies about to be born, im over here heartbroken that I’ve lost my sweet babies and trying to deal with the physical pain as well. I carried them a little over 11 weeks and would do anything to bring my babies back. 😭 they will be cremated in a couple of weeks after testing is done and we named them Rylan and Riley. I love you sweet babies. Please lord help with this pain I’m feeling 😭