Suicidal?

Would you guys still describe suicidal thoughts as just thinking about killing yourself but knowing you won’t actually harm yourself? I’m just feeling severely depressed today and my mom is not helping. She’s just being rude to me for no apparent reason. I’m just depressed about everything, I’m overthinking a lot of different things. I’m currently in my bedroom about to stick Netflix on and just relax. I’m tired of caring. It’s like I don’t care about anyone or anything anymore. I’m just dying to have a good cry..