Yesterday was a crazy day. My boyfriend got suspicious of me for waking up a little earlier than norm then got angry with me for talking about how that's not right and trying to defend myself. He ripped my pj top off of me then ripped the dress I put on. Then afterwards when I was trying to find another shirt I tried talking to him and he ripped my bra off of me. Then I left.

It confuses me because it doesn't really physically hurt but it's very aggressive. I have a small scratch.

Later that night he did the most aggressive thing he ever did though. He ran towards me, called me a bitch. Grabbed me by my hair and pushed me back and down onto the floor hitting the washing machine. I left. Told him that was it. Blocked him. But on my phone I can still see if he calls me because it tells me I have a blocked call. I can also see blocked messages. He started texting me saying he's worried about his heart and blood pressure and he can't breathe right. I was pretty sure it was manipulation but I was weak. Now he's trying to act like everything is normal but it's not.

When I think about if this is physical abuse part of thinks absolutely it is and part of me wants to downplay it. I know I need to leave and be done but I don't know how. I don't want to be in this relationship but he has a strong mental hold on me.