I wrote this to a friend but never sent it to her, I probably should have but I didn’t want to waste any time being disappointed again.

To be quite honest I don’t feel like I owe you an explanation because you ditched me in 2014 for your new friends without any explanation; left me hanging at my grandmas party after promising for a “girls day” and failed to say anything for nearly 3 years. I’m like an elephant, I remember everything and every little feeling. After you apologized nearly 3 years later, things have not been the same no matter how much we tried to force it, it just wasn’t. People grow apart. I have been the same person since high school but being around you was weird, I couldn’t be myself. I wasn’t comfortable for fear of judgment and just the lack of trust I had for you. I tried my hardest to stick it through because I thought things would be like how they were back when we were younger but it never happened. You disrespected my marriage in several ways, one example was the several times I left my husband to hang out with you and you’d bring your boyfriend along. I have no problem hanging out with him too because I think he’s a great guy but it was several slaps in the face when you specifically say it’s a “girls day” and you made me a third wheel while I have my husband/best friend at home (who I’d much rather hang out with but that’s besides the point).

Every time we hung out you made me feel little, whether that was intentional or unintentional idk but you sure made it seem that way. You called me the “doctors bitch” and low-key argued with me in the store and at your house about LPNs being higher in the scope of practice than an RN, again, disrespectful.  You’ve rushed our hangout time several times to go hang out with your boyfriend, again not complaining that you have a boyfriend, good for you and he’s a great guy but I think what you can gather from this is that you didn’t value the time spent with me and it’s quite noticeable.

The last straw was last December when you told me it was your older sister’s “fault” that you apologized to me. When I asked you to explain what you meant by what you said, I specifically asked “what do you mean it was her fault?” your reply was: “she kept pushing me to talk to you. All of my family was” it was then that I realized the friendship was being forced. You left me at Aldi’s that same day to go pick up your boyfriend (who has a car already and could’ve 1. met up with us or 2. waited) and I was about 5 minutes from being done shopping. You just LEFT ME. Thank God Kassy was with me that day but that really solidified the kind of person you are to me and that is one that I do not care to keep around me anymore. I may be wrong but I never felt like you were genuinely happy for me and I’m sorry if you were but it just never felt that way and I can’t be bothered to be around you anymore. Maybe I took some of your comments too seriously or maybe I didn’t and you were displaying your true feelings, IDK and idc, I’m just over being in a forced friendship.

I genuinely cared about you as a person and I always had your best interest but when I step back and reflect on this friendship I don’t think it’s reciprocated. At this point in my life I am making an effort to protect my energy and you are no longer someone I want to be part of my life. It was probably meant to be that we stopped being friends in 2014 because things started getting rocky anyway before that. I have tried to tell you how I felt in the past and it only backfired so I didn’t feel the need to tell you how I felt now. I don’t want to force anything anymore. I wish you the best & there are no hard feelings, I just don’t want to pretend anymore.