How do I tell my husband I don’t want what he wants?

Question

Okay so my husband and I have been talking about kids for years, even before we were married (March 2019). He got back from a deployment in May and we’re not on the same page anymore and it’s ruining everything for me.  Every other word he, my mom, my friends, our mutual friends ... ANYBODY says is about some fucking kids. I can’t go anywhere without him mentioning some shit about some damn kids. I’m not pregnant and I’ve never been pregnant and now I just don’t think I even want to consider kids anymore. I mean we don’t even have kids yet and his imaginary kids are ruining everything.
     We can’t be intimate anymore without him doing or saying something regarding kids and it’s a complete turn off. “Call your mom about that stuff that’ll help you get pregnant.” He’ll come up to me and offer to help me do something or recommend I don’t do something else because, “I won’t be able to do it when the baby gets here.” Even the sex is horrible now because all he’s trying to do is get me fucking pregnant. We haven’t been any kind of intimate in more than a month now because I know the sex is about to be wack, short and he’s gonna run out to get a fucking pregnancy test after that.
     Like I really tried. I’ve never wanted to have a child of my own until I met him and I know he’d be a great father, but I’m not ready. Judging from what every mother I know has shared with me I don’t think I’ll ever be ready and that’s all he’s been talking about since he’s gotten home. It’s like the only reason he wants me now is to have a kid and I can’t. It’s scary enough to even imagine life while pregnant and I’m not ready to sacrifice my body or lifestyle.
 
    I can tell he knows I’m upset, but he just tries to make me feel better by doing goofy stuff to make me smile but that just makes it worse. How do I tell him that this kids are off the table for me right now, possibly forever?

Answer

Ouch! Tell him straight up then that you don’t want kids. Cause if that’s what he wants, maybe he should be with someone who wants the same.  I think it’s actually sweet that he wants to have a baby with you and is trying to help to get the process going. I feel like you’re being too harsh, or at least in this post you are. Either way, I hope you figure it out.

Answer

You have to just be open and honest with him about it but I’ll be blunt, be prepared to lose him after that conversation. I know if I went into a marriage on the same page about children then my husband flipped the script and said no to children for awhile or forever I would seriously consider divorce and most likely go through with one after a few years of not agreeing. Children isn’t something you can or should compromise on, it’s either no kids (your way) or kids (his way), it would be cruel and selfish to expect either of y’all to compromise y’all wants for the other.

Answer

be honest and just tell him.

Answer

Rip off the bandaid.
Get comfy, sit down, and tell him how you’re feeling.

Answer

Marriage counseling ASAP! 
Kids vs no kids is a dealbreaker. If he wants them and you don’t, you will sadly have to let him go.
However, if you are stressed because ttc isn’t going as planned. I hear you. It’s so stressful on yourself and your marriage. This doesn’t sound like your issue though but if it was, consult your doctor if you’ve been ttc 6mo or more. I was 31 at 8mo ttc and I knew something was wrong, and I was right

Answer

You should tell him and give him the chance to pick if he wants to stay with you or not. It’s not fair to him since you knew before that it was something he wanted.

Answer

The poor guy. You’ve known your whole relationship that he’s wanted children and now you’re just stringing him along. Let the guy go do he can find someone who wants children.

Answer

All you can do is be honest. If it were something else he was doing that was a turn off I’m sure you’d find a way of telling him. He’s probably not bringing it up mire but once you are aware of the pattern and frequency and when you do hear it it becomes highly irritating because you were already expecting it. You are obviously not in the right frame of mind/time of your life or whatever to be TTC because I am and if my husband was this involved and motivated I would love it.

Answer

Hii

Answer

Woooooooow! I hate it here. Thanks for not helping, guess I’ll throw my entire fucking marriage away because I want to be secure that my husband loves me for who I am and not because I can have a child. Appreciate it so much, thanks for telling me that I’m a horrible fucking person for being afraid of something that could kill me or being concerned about having a kid in the middle of a fucking pandemic. Thanks for fucking nothing.
Let me just go ahead and drown my fucking self since I can’t love my husband and have him without sacrificing my identity and body for a person that doesn’t even ducking exist yet.

How do I tell my husband I don’t want what he wants?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey