Friend Breakups- How do I heal?

So after ten years of having a best friend, he told me over FaceTime that he feels stuck and that ten years is too long. He told me that he just wasn’t going to be my friend anymore, but this wasn’t the first time he’s threatened to stop being my friend.

My best friend and I were so close, closer than most people I know. We told each other EVERYTHING, and we’ve been through so much together. I encouraged him to go to college, and he chose the school I had gotten a scholarship to, and then after we graduated he followed me down to Orlando Florida to do the Disney College Program. I had some really awful roommate situations and actually spent most of my free time with him and two of his roommates who are also very close friends of mine. We did everything together, and we both enjoyed each other’s company immensely- or so I thought. We would FaceTime each other nearly every night and just chat about anything and everything. It was all mutual, and we both wanted our friendship to be that way.

He also had some anger issues. Major ones. Half of the time he would answer the phone, he would just be angry and have an attitude, huffing, rolling his eyes, and just speaking to me in a nasty tone. I would tell him that I didn’t appreciate it, and offer to call him at a later time when he had calmed down. He would then insist he calmed down and we would talk like normal.

Sometimes we would have fights, during which he would completely ignore my messages, lash out, and threaten to end our friendship, stating “I just can’t anymore.” He never said anything directly hurtful about me, but he would just threaten to stop being my friend until I either dropped what I wanted or apologized. I would spend most of my time at the end of these fights basically begging him to stay my friend, because he means the world to me. I’ve helped him through so much, and he helped me through rough patches at night when I would have severe panic attacks. No matter what happened, I loved him and he was still my best friend. I don’t mean love in a romantic way, but a platonic one. He was my favorite person, after my parents.

Today, he blocked me on all social media after he swore he wouldn’t. He has done this in the past and admitted it was childish and immature, and swore that he wouldn’t behave like that anymore. I’ve been crying for the past three days over him and trying to approach it from a place of anger so I don’t feel as much pain, but it’s hard. Part of me just wants our friendship back. I feel horrible not being able to talk to him, I miss him more than anything, but I feel so stupid for feeling that way. I know he does manipulative, abusive things, but he’s still that same goofy silly guy who was my world.

I just...don’t know how to heal from this.

I’m heartbroken and even though it’s only been a few days, I just wish things would heal. They will never be the same between us even if I do eventually become friends with him again, but I just wish he would stop being prideful and apologize. He had said multiple times I had done nothing wrong, he was just tired of me. He threw me away, like garbage. He made me feel worthless, yet all I want is a hug from him. I feel so crazy.

Has anyone else been through something similar? I feel like friend breakups are never addressed, especially not when they can hurt more than actual breakups. I just need some advice, or tips on how to heal and move on. I actually had to go to the doctor’s office because of stress related chest pain that started during our FaceTime call, and it’s still bothering me, four days later.