My beautiful baby girl is 6 weeks old today, my sister in law has taken her out a walk and to her house for a few hours and she did the same last week too. I haven’t bonded with my baby and I don’t think I love her. I do care about her and always make sure she’s happy and healthy. My sister in law was saying that whenever she was apart from her son as a newborn all she would do is worry and cry and I’m honestly sat at home completely fine about not being with my baby. Compared to how I felt at the start I do think I’m slowly getting attached to my baby but I still feel “ugh” whenever i know I have hours with her myself. I was diagnosed with postnatal depression not long after she was born and I’ve been on antidepressants for nearly 4 weeks now and thankfully I’m noticing them starting to work now. I’m also working closely with a perinatal mental health nurse and my health visitor. I feel like I’m bad for my daughter and that she deserves so much more, my relationship with my husband is also being affected I’ve been pushing him away and I don’t want to or mean to but I don’t feel love towards him anymore but I know that’s just my depression because he’s the love of my life I couldn’t imagine life without him. I feel like I’ve missed out on the first 6 weeks and I don’t know how many more weeks that’s going to turn into. I just wish this would be over and I can enjoy life and be happy with my family it’s all I’ve ever wanted but I’ve been second guessing that since her birth.