You fucked up everything

You make me doubt myself. You make me wonder what was wrong with me. You make me think and feel I’m not good enough. You make me wonder what if. You make me think that if I had been better or done better we would still be together. It bothers me that you don’t seem to care if I’m not in your life anymore. It bothers me that I even give a fuck if you don’t care. It bothers me that you say you want to be friends but make no effort to make it that way. I wish you would have just talked to me about things when you were unsure. I hate not knowing if things would or could have been different if you had just talked to me instead of just trying to not deal with them.

I wish I hated you. I wish you would have been straight up with me. I wish you didn’t blame me for everything...I wish you didn’t tear me down to justify your own feelings.

But most of all...I blame myself. For staying. For trying to help you when all you did was fight me. I blame myself for seeing the good and trying to hold on to it. I blame myself...for not being enough...