When I got pregnant with my daughter Paige, I was so excited. I thought about all the milestones she would hit, and I was looking forward to her first words, I'm still waiting.

At 12 months old our pediatrician put us in contact with a speech therapist because she had no words. Before this I already had my suspicions that something was off with her. She would spin in circles, move her fingers near her left eye, was obsessed with anything that spun, and tip toe walked. My suspicions were reassured while at the eval for speech therapy, when they told us she had red flags for autism.

Fast forward to just before she was 2, we set up an eval for autism. We were put into a small'ish room with 3 doctors and her speech therapist. They sat down with her and had her play with toys, she wanted nothing to do with anything but a car. This whole appointment took about an hour or so, and at the end we finally had her diagnosis. I was both happy and sad to hear that she is autistic.

Now my little girl is 2.5 years old, and she has a few words she will say, Gaga (a cartoon character she watches on t.v.), and baa baa (when asked what a sheep says). Other than that it's babbling or humming, she loves humming songs like twinkle twinkle and old McDonald.

Am I wrong to want an I Love You? To have a 2 way conversation with my toddler instead of saying something and getting blankly stared at in return? I love my little girl so so much, she is an extremely happy little girl, but autism is frustrating. Some days are easier than others, but the meltdowns, lack of speech, not engaging when talked too is really hard to deal with.