It took me almost a week to write this and i still dont know if I am ready

It took us 2 and a half years to fall pregnant with baby #2 and we could not have been happier...

This pregnancy was different from my first from the get go, on and off cramping and spotting but baby was developing beautifully and had a strong heartbeat

On monday the cramps and spotting got worse for the first time in a couple of weeks... I went in to dr at 16:15 in the afternoon but baby had good movement and strong heartbeat

I went home feeling uneasy, the pain gradually increased untill after 18:00 when it became unbearable,

Dr told me to take another of the utrogestan pills he prescribed earlier the day but if the pain does not go away in an hour i must come in

At 19:10 i felt a painfull pop and could feel fluids gushing out

We rushed to the hospital and i had to go in alone because of covid regulations, dr did a sonar and no baby💔💔💔💔 after i have seen my little angel not even 4 hours ago now there was just nothing😭😭😭

Dr said to prep me for theater but before i was ready i gave birth to my little baby at 20:15.

I had no one with me, the nurses was of little to no help and my world was falling apart. My husband cried when I phoned him with the news, he was still waiting outside in the cold (it is winter here🇿🇦)

I was kept over night and went hone the next day

My heart is broken and I am not coping at all.... I want my baby back😭💔