So, my boyfriend and I are in the middle of making a pretty important decision. Obviously the results of this poll are not going to be our final say lol, but we both would like some outside advice and opinions. We're really in the middle about it and have even made pros and cons list. We've been dating for 2 years, and we're in a VERY strong relationship. We own our own home together, and our dynamic is incredibly loving and full of healthy communication. I just turned 21 and he's 27. (And no, I'm not the party type. We are both mature adults who are pretty much settled already) We're planning on getting married, but we're waiting to get officially engaged until after he gets unfurloughed, which will be sometime next month.

We currently have enough condoms to last us about a month and a half. We recently had a pregnancy "scare" that brought up a lot of big decisions and emotions. At first I was TERRIFIED, because I don't like the idea of a non-traditional family where we have kids before we're married, but my boyfriend was so excited. He reassured me that we would make it work no matter what and we would still get to do everything we wanted if we had a baby now. By the time my period actually came, we were both over the moon hoping I was pregnant. He brought up the idea of just leaving things to chance, and not preventing anymore. I do like the idea, but it would definitely be a big change in our plans.

Cons:

-I'm not excited about having kids before marriage

-I'm going back to college this fall

-We have a few major house renovations we would need to get done before we have a baby

-He won't have the best off days at work to help at first

Pros:

-We are financially stable enough to have a child immediately

-We both really really want children

-We have close friends who already have children or are pregnant, and we all want our kids close in age (We hang out with these friends multiple times a week, and we all factor each other in with our life plans, and we're actually godparents to one of their kids)

-We have friends and family willing to help out while I go back to school, and my schooling is going to take 13 years so it makes no difference at what point we have kids anyway

-Our parents really want grandchildren

-Both our pets LOVE babies and are great with children

-We are both emotionally and mentally ready to have children

There's also no guarantee we will get pregnant right away. The whole point is leaving it up to chance, as we will neither be preventing nor trying. We only have sex maybe once a week anyway. We could get pregnant 2 years from now or next month. I guess my only real concern is having kids before marriage, but then again that's really not a deal breaker. My boyfriend has been hinting at an engagement sooner rather than later though, so hell, there's still a chance we get married before having kids. Has anyone had kids before marriage? How was it? Is anyone else going through a similar big decision? How did you know when to have kids?