I'm crying y'all

Ali • 🌵🌻

My husband has been stressing a lot he is starting a new career and life has just been really hectic all around. Obv it is for me too but I'm not currently bringing in an income I am just a stay at home wife atm taking care of cooking, cleaning, pet care blah blah blah. Not to mention our sex life isn't all that great rn this is probably the longest we've gone without sex since we met years ago (I say its been like 1 week and he says 2 1/2 weeks) I've been dealing with bad migraines since the 14th and I was having bad cramping and weird pains from pms plus started my period a week late which was stressing me anyways.... So last night in bed my husband was crying. He was trying to be secretive about it I think but it was obv for me to tell. I ask him if he was okay and I was like are you sure you know you can talk to me and he just said yeah I'm fine and we did a little devotional and I rubbed his back and head until he fell asleep. This morning seemed okay I woke at at 430am to make him breakfast so he can be up at 530am (hasn't started the new career yet) and after he left I spent time on a long meaningful text explaining how he can talk to me about anything and not be judged, he is so strong and I am inspired by him every day and just a bunch of things straight from my heart and it was probably one of the most heartfelt texts I've ever sent to him. I expected him to see during a break later in the day.. I didn't even expect a long meaningful texts back besides maybe an I love you or reassurance about the text saying he agrees or he could not even text back at all which would have been better than what he replied with!... He says "wash blankets and sheets today."

I start bawwwling y'all... Like I was just saying all these things like paragraphs long about him needing to know how miraculous he is and that he can trust me bc its a judge free zone between us and I'm his biggest cheerleader and that I want to be his comfort in any situation and that's what he says to me. After that I just said "okay."

I didn't expect much back I didn't expect anything super heartfelt.. but I definitely didn't expect that.

Like in the text I even said I know its hard bc he loves affection and I haven't been providing that as often but I've been in a lot of physical pain and dealing with my depression bad lately and I know he has his anxiety hitting him hard as well but damn at least he's medicated unlike me who's having to fight really hard right now with some dark emotions and thoughts.. My brother also stays with us a lot lately so being affectionate is just something we have put on the back burner and that's why texting is easier rn. The other night I even sent him specific pictures bc I knew its been awhile and I wanted to give him a treat.. I know things will be okay I am just hurt so bad. Like wtf dude.... I am truly trying to be understanding and I WILL NOT freak out in front of him.. I just needed to vent here while I cry my heart out.