I don’t know if I’m okay to post this here, but here goes. Also, this is going to be VERY long.

My LO is 14 months old (as you all know considering the group), and I have worked part time since going back to work when he was 3 months old. I got a job at a place that has an after school program for older kids, and I was excited about it because my plan was to become a teacher at some point in my life. I do like the job, but its hard because I’ve always wanted to be a stay at home mom, and being gone every day (even for just 5 hours) is hard for me.

With that being said, my husbands grandpa is very old and needs help. He takes care of himself pretty well, he just needs someone there all of the time to get his meds together, drain his catheter and make his meals. My poor MIL has been doing this job every single day for a few months now, along with working as a nurse and babysitting my son, which if I go back to the childcare job in a few weeks, she’ll have to watch him 4 days a week for 4-5 hours along with watching grandpa and working as a nurse at night on the weekends. She really needs help, so I’m thinking about quitting my childcare job and taking on a couple of days with grandpa. I’d still be getting paid about the same for 3 days less of work, and I’d be taking my son with me.

My worries are: 1. God forbid something happen to him and he gets worse, not only would that be terrible, I wouldn’t have a job. 2. What if I hate doing it?

But, that is a LOT to put on my MIL. She’s great with my son, but I know she is always exhausted and she needs someone to help her.

Please help me make a decision. I think I know what it is, but I’m still terrified and need validation. My husband says it’s up to me, he is okay with either way I choose.

Edit: We don’t have another option for childcare. My mom helped out while she was off of work, but she goes back to work next week and my childcare position starts back up again in 4 weeks.