Him masturbating - am I in the wrong?

Question

My partner and I have been together for two years, he’s 27 and I’m 26. 
When we first met we had sex at least once a day, then as time went on it went down to maybe once every other day, then went to once every couple of days and now I’m lucky if it’s once a week/every two weeks. 
I’ve mentioned about not having sex often and he says he just doesn’t have a high sex drive, whereas I do. But if i ever try to put it on him he rejects me and tells me no. 
As if all of this wasn’t enough to make me feel unwanted, whenever he’s at home or gets 5 minutes to himself he will text me to tell me “I’ve just had a wank” and for some unknown reason it really bothers me? Like REALLLY bothers me. I hate it. My argument is why do u need to? I don’t work, I’m at home all the time so if your horny come to me? You know I’m always wanting it? So for him to go to the bathroom or disappear into the bedroom, then tell me what he’s just done. Or waits till I’m out food shopping to text me seems like he’s just doing anything to avoid me? 
Is it just me or this normal to be pissed about? 
It genuinely starts making me feel like I’m not enough, and hes more interested in other women who actually get him turned on. 
It’s making me feel like we shouldn’t be together anymore. 😞

Accepted Answer

Well i think there’s nothing wrong with either of you masturbating but it does seem a bit odd that he tells you about it? Especially if it’s interfering with you having sex with each other..
Have you told him how it makes you feel? I know you said you mentioned it to him, but maybe its worth having another conversation about it, otherwise it won’t get fixed...

Answer

I do think it’s wrong when a man prefers to masturbarte then have sex with his woman not meeting her needs. So no you’re aren’t in the wrong and you need to talk to him about it.

Answer

Yea that would piss me off forreal.... also what is the point in telling you? If he can't compromise with you then it 🤷 may be time to move on.

Answer

He does need to compromise with you on frequency. However, you shouldn’t be offended by him masturbating. Sometimes men prefer masturbation it’s faster, easier, they don’t have to worry about meeting anyone else’s needs. Just use it for relaxation, etc. 
Try masturbating with him. Send him videos of you doing it when he is away. Or directly beside him. Make out with him while you each touch yourselves.

Answer

As someone who had a porn addiction I can tell you he probably has a porn or masturbation addiction if he’s choosing to do that instead of have sex with you.

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I think it’s strange that he tells you each and every time lol like okay you could’ve kept it to yourself

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Everyone has a right to masturbate. Telling him he can't do it isn't just. 
Just tell him it makes you feel unwanted ect and have open communication

Answer

This is almost the same as my husband! Just talk to him about it. I’ve always told him that I don’t mind that he masturbates and it’s totally normal, but I have also explained to him that it does bother me a bit that he wouldn’t come to me to make a move if I’m around when he’s going to masturbate. And that I’m sad that he doesn’t do that. He says that it’s very different for him and just a stress relieving quick kind of thing where he’s not even really mentally in the mood just wants to get it done and out of the way. Sex has always been more infrequent than I am used to (once or twice per week if I’m lucky), and so at one point I did ask if he was comfortable to stop masturbating as often to increase his drive to have sex with me which sort of helped. But what seemed to helped more was when I went back to work after maternity leave I was so busy and tired I was less interested and was more likely to rebuff him than the other way around. And then all of a sudden he’s all over me now!!! So maybe he was just taking my sex drive for granted before. I also had bought myself a new lingerie pajama set, not for him at all because he has never shown any interest in my lingerie - but something about the sheerness of the fabric when I put it on he’s all over it! So you never know, maybe try some things to mix it up. I think sex drive fluctuates and changes, the most important thing is to communicate how you are feeling. I wouldn’t make him feel badly about masturbating but be supportive of it ... and if he listens and considers your feelings maybe he will be willing to redirect some of those urges your way! Good luck!

Answer

Tell him to stop watching porn and masturbating ..This is the only reason why he been behaving like this ..Once he stops he will hopefully come back to you .Hope this helps 💚

Answer

i’d just suggest talking to him, it’s the only thing that’s gonna fix it! let him know how you feel and if he loves you, he’ll do his best to help you feel more wanted

Him masturbating - am I in the wrong?

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