I have a lot of mom guilt because of this..because I know its my fault she is like this..but also I have had ZERO help at night..so I had to do whatever worked..

So when my daughter was born..like within the hour of birth..she has horrendous reflux. She would choke on it and scream and cry. When we got home it only got worse, especially when laying, and then she started having breath.holding spells so my solution? Hold her all night. I made sure to do it safely.

She would wake ever 2 hours for a bottle.

Meanwhile everyone tells me reflux will resolve and she will be sleeping through the night by 3 months.

3 months rolls around and same deal.

Terrible reflux and waking a lot.

"Don't worry by 6 months she will sleep through"

6 months rolls around and reflux is gone. So we started bed sharing. But she was still waking at least 4 times.

9 months comes and goes..still waking..

I tried cry it out and she would vomit everywhere from hysterically crying 😢

So thats a no go.

She is now 11 months..12 months on the 24th and I'm losing it..I have gotten no more than 5 hours of sleep a night.

She still wakes for at least 2 bottles but while she IS sleeping she is tossing and turning ALL night long and whimpers and whines all night.

She doesn't put herself to sleep.

She needs to be rocked and fed to sleep.

She naps perfectly fine from 11-1 everyday and goes to bed by 8.

I know there's no easy answer or any answer..

I just need help so I can help her.

How can I fix this?