Can alcoholics / people addicted to drugs be good parents?

Question

Is it possible to still be a good, attentive parent while suffering from alcoholism / drug addiction? 
( if this gets disrespectful I will delete, as both of these are actual diseases people suffer with)

Answer

My father was an alcoholic. He was a great Dad for the most part, like all parents, he wasn't perfect (obviously). He was my best friend growing up and I have very fond memories of him and I used to tell him everything when I was a teenager. But that may not always be the case for everyone. I guess you could say my father was a functioning alcoholic. He kept a steady job, coached my baseball teams, and was very involved and present. He drank A LOT after my sister and I would go to bed every night and would basically just drink himself to sleep. We didn't know about his alcoholism until we were in our late teens and going out and staying up later. He wasted a lot of money on alcohol but not to the point where we didn't have the necessities but many of my friends had more than me growing up but that was never something that bothered me. The problem was that after my sister and I grew up and became young adults, he left our Mom... he let his alcoholism take over his life finally and he ended up dying because of it. We tried to stop it. We tried to intervene but he fell into a really bad place. He never got the chance to walk me down the isle or meet my son. Does that make him a bad father? I personally don't feel like he was, I look back and have great happy memories of him until the last couple years of his life. Does that mean that every individual with a drug or alcohol problem is a good parent? Possibly not. I can't answer that... I can only answer from my own personal experience.

Answer

Can you be an alcoholic and a good PERSON, absolutely. But good parent? No

Answer

Nope. The addiction always comes first. It's not a safe or nurturing environment when someone is dug in with their addiction. Nothing changes until they recognize their problems and commit to sobriety.

Answer

You can be an alcoholic, choose never to drink or do drugs again, and be a good parent. But a person who is actively choosing their addiction over their children is not a good parent.

Answer

I’m going with hard no. As a child to parents who were addicted to opioids for most of my life I can say with 100% certainty that it can’t happen. I had 3 younger siblings that I took care of like I was their parent from the age of 9 till I finally left home at 18. There were nights we went without food because feeding the addiction was more important. Or the lack of parenting because they were either stoned, sleeping or off hustling for their next fix. Now I do believe that parents with addiction can get sober, spend sometime cleaning themselves up and then becoming good parents. Unfortunately for me I was in my late 20’s when my parents decided to change for the sake of their grand kids.

Answer

If they are in active recovery and doing everything in their power to stay clean then I believe yes, the person has the potential to be a good parent. My husband was addicted to drugs when we met. He was really struggling. He also had some trouble with alcohol but not as bad as the drugs. It took him many years,relapses and us breaking up several times to finally be able to commit to becoming sober. He still mentally struggles from time to time but has a Dr who has been very helpful. He has had 1 drug relapse sense we had our baby. It was a difficult thing to work through but it did not make him a bad parent. He made a mistake and used poor judgment. If someone is using daily or routinly and not trying to become sober then they probably shouldn't have kids. It's difficult because its a disease, a mental illness. There's a lot more to real addiction than meets the eye. Its not as simple as just quitting. There are many factors.

Answer

Yes, it's definitely possible. 
There are so many variations of what you're asking making a straight forward answer impossible. Drugs and alcohol are very different. Drugs in general vary tremendously. 
But I've had parents addicted to cigarettes which are drugs and still be great parents. Also another who suffered from alcoholism for a certain period, but it never made them a bad parent. 
Then you hear those horrible stories of children in unsafe homes with parents who neglect their needs to get high or whatever. And that's just a whole other level of terrible.

Answer

I’m both of my experiences with it, no. My husband’s mom was an alcoholic and her drinking cake before her kids always. She always complained about money, making them feel it was their fault, when she was getting A LOT of money in child support (his dad was court ordered and was military as well as a state employee where he made really good money for our area). She always had the money for drinking, literally went to the bar every night and as soon as my husband had a license, he was expected to take and pick her up or else she would take his keys. He raised his little brother. She even married a man who was also an alcoholic during that time and he was abusive to her in front of them...his brother is 6 years younger so he was pretty young still at the time. My uncle WAS a really good dad. He even took me fishing when I was little and I loved being around him. He became a full blown alcoholic when his kids were teenagers. Things got so bad, he shoved his 15 year old son down the stairs after an argument to the point he did jail time for abuse when his daughter called the cops. His wife was also an alcoholic who was also addicted to pain pills. She was a nurse who had an administration position and she now sews clothes at a nursing home and does laundry there because she lost her license. They would call my mom and ask for money all the time and the only time she gave it was when she found out it was for their daughters books for college...and she’d only give the money directly to her. None of us are sure what happened in that house but the daughter moved out for college, now lives across the country, and has no contact at all with her parents. Being an addict makes you prioritize the addiction and when it takes over your life in a negative way, it’s everyone else’s fault.  I even had a student who’s mother allowed their father to molest, starve, and completely neglect their three kids because he was willing to supply her with meth so she wouldn’t leave.

Answer

Yes. BUT it has its ups and downs.

Answer

Nope that’s why I divorced my ex husband and took our son. It’s not possible to be “attentive” and responsive to your child who your world needs to revolve around when you’re an addict because you’re world is revolving around getting your fix. I don’t feel the two can both be priorities.

Can alcoholics / people addicted to drugs be good parents?

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