I had my a physical today and of course got weighed prior. Even though the appointment was not first thing in the AM, (it was at 3:15pm), I nearly passed out from shock when the girl told me I weighed 195lbs! A little background about me. I have always been a gym girl. Two years ago I was 134lbs and then I met someone who was not a gym person and criticized my every effort to stay fit. He’d accuse me of cheating if I stayed longer at the gym etc. So in a bid to make that relationship work, I lost myself and went up to 160lbs. I hated how I felt (I’m 5’4) and my clothes didn’t fit so when I got out of that relationship, I was getting my life back on track with regular guilt free workouts at the gym and then quarantine happened. Working out became a struggle and I didn’t keep up with my workouts like I should have and I stopped weighing myself so today was a shock to me when I saw that 195lbs on the scale. I have no idea what I weighed prior to being pregnant. I really don’t want to hit that 200 pound mark. I feel guilty that I let myself go prior to the pregnancy and I’m about to be 13 weeks pregnant and I want a healthy baby.... eating healthy is part of that. The number on the scale is killing me. I don’t feel beautiful and I do wanna enjoy my pregnancy without feeling guilty of weight gain. I have never had eating disorders. During stressful periods of my life, I’d work out twice a day (morning and night) as I found the gym to be therapeutic. I take long 60+ minute walks almost daily now. I don’t know what to do now. Any advice is appreciated