Today is hard

We lost our son, George, on sat night. At 10:37pm. We were 16w +2. It was sudden, painful, and horrific.

I have been doing okay ...i guess. Crying off and on. I'll wake up and sob. I scream at God and swear at him how unfair this all is. Because it is...so....so...unfair.

Today is hard. My husband is back at work, there are workers here working on the room upstairs. Which was going to be a nursury. I said to just make it a guest/office room for now instead.i cant bear the thought of seeing that everyday. Iam trying to go about life as best I can. Laundry, dusting, dealing with dogs and cat. But oh lord do I miss him. I miss him inside me fluttering around. I feel so empty. I miss the idea of teaching him how to walk, to talk, to drive and how to be kind. I miss singing to him in the shower. I miss him. I had started to really believe that this time the pregnancy was sticking, we would make it. And then it was ripped from me. Violently. Suddenly. And with no warning. None. I am at a loss and am not too sure how to progress. I've been in therapy since I was a kid (child of an alcoholic) went thru therapy after we lost our baby girl at 23 weeks 3 years ago. So, no, I do not need to "go talk to someone". I guess I just needed to write it down. And that's what's so great about this app/forum. I can get it out. Write it down and hope that writing may help me to heal...if only a little.