Would you stay with your man if you guys been together for over 10 years and you want to get married & he doesn’t?

Question

Am I wasting my time here? I’m 30 and he’s 39. I cook, clean & gave him a baby. I want to get married and I feel like he’s gotten too comfortable. I believe I took on the wife role for so long, he’s not even interested anymore. We’ve been talking about getting married the first year into our relationship. I’ve brought this up numerous times & I still don’t get feedback from him. I’m seriously hurting in the inside.

Answer

What's the difference though? Other than a piece of paper, what will change if you get married?

Answer

I was with my boyfriend for 10 years, we was 15 when we met and I’m 26 now and I feel like I wasted my time on him because I wanted marriage and kids and I wanted that with him and he never wanted it. At least not with me and when I look back at it, even though at that moment I couldn’t tell, I am so happy we aren’t together. He wasn’t right for me and if he married me he would only do it for me. He’d probably retaliate or make me feel like I forced him to because I wanted it too much and he didn’t

Answer

Why pay for the cow when u get the milk for FREEEEEEEEEEE, of course he got comfortable after this long.. Wouldn't you? There's 100 stories on this app. Some women are quick to have babies, move in together but the woman secretly wanting more.. Some women here say marriage is only a piece of paper bla bla but they still haven't gotten the paper just baby mama's 😭 if anything happens to your husband his family member will have the final say not you cause your not his spouse.. U are living another person dream you cook, clean, laundry look after his child have sex when ever he wants with no ring 🤔 some women love to play wifey with no ring tf... His not bothered by it cause he knows you already invested sooo long that his guaranted you will go NO WHERE.. If your daughter was in this situation what would u say to her! (never live in someone else's dream you will live to regret it for the rest of your life, if that man never showed u any type of assurance that he was going to commit legally u should of let it go.. Listen to your heart Never play house ) sorry I didnt vote!

Answer

He probably already feels like he has all the benefits of getting married without having to actually commit to marriage. You gave him a child, cooking, and cleaning- he’s getting all the benefits of having a wife without him actually making you his Wife. I would sit down and have a talk with him, let your requirement be known and put the ball in his court and I wouldn’t say another word- within 3-6 months if a move has not been made in his end, I would be out the door. If he wants to marry you, after your talk with him and he knows your demand, you shouldn’t have to badger him about marrying you. Best of luck to you.

Answer

Why are you so desperate to get married? You’re in a committed relationship, with a child, not sure what you mean by ‘you gave him’. Did you not want to have a child with him? A lot of people don’t see the point in marriage, so maybe have that conversation with him. I’m not sure why you would feel that a 10 year relationship is a waste and would want to end it, because he maybe doesn’t see the same value in marriage as you do.

Answer

No because the fact is you still have time to find somebody that's going to want what you want.when you were together the first few years you should have had the conversation about what you both wanted in the future.. honestly the only advice  can give you is stop wasting your life on this person and take back your time.

Answer

To the people saying “what’s the difference” maybe she wants the ceremony and ring and paper. That isn’t wrong. I’ve told my man I want to get married but I know I love him and want him with or without marriage.  But the ceremony dressing up and stuff is a bigger deal from some that’s not wrong

Answer

A lot of people in the comments keep saying that marriage is just a piece of paper and I personally think it’s really rude to say that. There are couples literally struggling to get married and wish they could get married tomorrow but they can’t.
My husband and I needed to get married if we ever wanted to live in the same country. That “piece of paper” is one of the most important documents we own and we literally holds our entire future. We’ve been through hell to get that piece of paper. There are so many couples who are struggling to get married and it would mean the world to them. Just because it doesn’t matter to any of you doesn’t mean it shouldn’t matter to OP. If getting married is important to her, no one should be belittling it. It’s great that you don’t care, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t.

Answer

I said no, but I also wouldn’t have stayed for 10 years if I knew he didn’t want to get married and I did.

Answer

I honestly would.. it would bother me alot.. the same if he doesn't want kids and I do.. so on.. it might be a piece of paper to others but it's a commitment to me.

Would you stay with your man if you guys been together for over 10 years and you want to get married & he doesn’t?

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