I don’t post but feel so low right now it occurred to me to try. I have a wonderful 2 1/2 daughter and my husband and I were hoping for a second maybe 3 years or so apart. I had no fertility issues other than now being 36 but after months of irregular and at times terrible bleeding I was diagnosed with an extremely rare (and most likely NOT lethal, thank God) form of uterine cancer. I’ll need a hysterectomy sometime in the near future but it’s such a rare thing that none of the many gyn-oncs who’ve seen my case can really recommend exactly when. Most agree it should be safe to try for another pregnancy.

So we did. And I was pregnant, or maybe still am by some miracle, but the numbers certainly don’t look like that’s the case. It was only for such a short time: a few days that I had any awareness that someone was in there. But today the HCG fell by half and that’s that I suppose. I was brought up Catholic in a super religious house and consider myself a faithful person, but with a major bone to pick with my church for a million and one reasons. Part of me wants to hope someone could still be in there until I miscarry and know that he/she is really gone. But I’m a surgeon myself and understand full well what the science here means. I am simply so very sad right now.

Thanks for hearing me out. Hope things are going well for you all and for anyone else that’s pretty low right now, here’s to hoping we find some brighter pastures soon.

All the best,

J