I will try to make this short but I’m just looking for advice. To start with myself I have terrible anxiety, depression, history of suicidal problems, and BPD. Lately my husband and I have been going through some things and he hasn’t been home in five weeks I have a four-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son and I’m currently 11 weeks pregnant so that doesn’t help. I feel like I’m going out of my mind I’m short tempered I’m on edge I’m flipping on my kids and taking everything out on them. They are sometimes bad for me and push my buttons but lately I just feel like they aren’t listening to me at all. My daughter hits, pinches, slams things, screams because she’s angry. She’s only 4 and the worst part is I know she is like that because of me not knowing how to handle myself or my anger or anything else for that matter. I am in therapy and I am also in dialectical behavioral therapy.  are used to go to times a week for them but since Covid it’s one time a week over the phone and I have really been struggling. I guess I’m just looking for advice because I don’t know what to do. I explode on my kids every day, I cry every day and night randomly breaking down. I’m even slacking at work. I have made excuses and left work early because I just can’t stand to be there I feel like I’m going to have a mental breakdown soon. I just need tips or tricks on how to help with my children’s behavior and I know that it starts with me and I’m working on that but in the meantime how do I stay calm? How do I handle their behavior? What can I do different. When needed I smacked her butt but not often and I usually put them in the corner for timeout but nothing seems to be working. I don’t know if I should lean towards more positive reward instead of yelling at them for what they did wrong? I really have no idea I am just lost and on the verge of losing it all 

EDIT to add: my husband Isnt my 4 year old and 5 year olds dad. The baby I’m pregnant with obviously is his. But he’s my children’s step dad. Which still bothers me bc they keep asking for him and I went from having the help to not.