I’m thinking about a divorce ... I NEED your help & advice !

Hey girls, hope all of you are happy and blessed.

I’m coming here because I have nobody to share my thoughts with... I’m in deep pain because of my husband of 2 years.

He tells me I’m the crazy one so I need to sort this out. Everything in our life has been great and amazing, when we started dating it was a love at first sight it was a true fairytale until he started to change his mood and abuse me emotionally (back then I ignored it very much) he would tell me that his life has went horribly bad after he met me, that it’s all my fault (in his problems) and that I’m a true mistake. Then after my endless tears that I used to shed he would apologize and everything would be good UNTIL NEXT TIME he felt that way and it would all start all over again. The cycle hasn’t stopped. I tried EVERYTHING I talked to him, I explained to him, I cried and begged in tears for him to stop hurting me but it didn’t help. He would nod and say “yes I understand” and next month do the same. I spoke to him and he said that he understands why I cry and why it hurts me so he is understanding it ALL. But still does it.

Time went by and after our marriage he became even worse, I’m devastated. Before it would be once a month, NOW it’s every damn day for three times a day. He tells me everyday when he is upset that i will NEVER be something special to him and NEVER was. He says the most painful things that I can’t forget... I forgive him but then he does it again. I told him what’s the point of apologizing if you don’t care and do it all over again. And today I got so so mad at him because his emotions and swings and words take a lot of energy from me and I later feel depressed, upset and stressed out until I even get blood in my urine and hairfall... he always tells me “THEN LEAVE ME” and then I told him today that I am leaving, that I regret being with him, that I regret of not being single, that I could be with someone else in the future who wouldn’t say such things to me because I give my all to my man... i’m a good wife... and a very loving one... my heart is broken, I write this in tears. I told him that since he tells me everyday that I’m a nobody to him then he better go and find himself someone who will make him happy. I’m SO SO TIRED GIRLS...

IM DRAINED !!! IM ONLY 21 years old ... I’m beautiful and full of youth and dreams. I don’t know what to do ! He chokes me with his spirit...

nothing helps ! I feel no love towards him anymore, I don’t want to sleep with such a person, I don’t believe him... but I still feel attachment that tells me to maybe keep pushing and fighting but I’m so tired.

Please help ! Have you been in this ? What would I do ? I had a dream of being with one man for the rest of my life, to me marriage is sacred. And I’m devastated that I gave him my virginity and married him because of love towards him. Who will want me now ? I NEED support and advice...

P.S my jealousy grew crazy with him because he always abuses me but treats others nicely and very sweetly... and it makes me so sad that he can’t treat his wife with love and I have to be the one suffering.