Been here before?? Any advice? Stay or divorce?

It’s been 5-6 years since I’ve been with my now husband. We met when both our lives were up in the air. There have been many times trust has been broken and re-earned, good memories and bad, abuse, life changing moments and the whole 9 yards. But I still find myself not really wanting to leave out of fear of starting over with nothing but the clothes on my back in the middle of a rural area. As I sit here in the car alone over 100 miles from home fresh off of the last verbal hr plus lectures and him trying every trick up his sleeve to make me work it out with him and agree I’m to blame solely, I think what’s the point of trying to exist in the marriage anymore? We fight we blame each other we go through the big blow out and the next day back to normal and it just still never seems ok not the next few hrs and not even the next few days. And still here my dumb ass is afraid to leave and being homeless and even worse off mentally and emotionally deep down inside, but in my heart I feel like it’s for the best no matter how scary and isolated my future would be in my head to move on but HOW??? Any words of advice from those who’ve been down this road of wither to divorce or stay and hope for the best. We’ve tried couples counseling, DBT classes, separating nothing seems to be able to bring us close again or make it seem like it’ll be ok again. I’m sooo tired of feeling so alone and have a saddens heart 😢 when I see how happy and truly in love other couples seem with their love one. I shouldn’t feel that way if I’m married right?