I think I have a problem.

I'm staying anonymous because I'm both concerned and embarrassed.

Years ago back in high-school I started drinking energy drinks simply because all my friends were drinking them. And we stupidly drank them all the time. You know how every Monster, Rockstar, Joker, Redbull all clearly say only for adults and no more than one per day. But we were just so invincible. I distinctly remember spending all of grade 11 and 12 chugging those as if it was water. 3 a day. Sometimes 4.

By the time college started, I was broke AF. So there was there went my energy drinks. Dont even ask me how I started this......but I began drinking regular pop like coke and pouring it into a glass then mixed baking soda into it to make it extra fizzy and burny. And in some twisted mental way that was filling in for the lack of energy drinks.

I did that on and off my first year of college then I barely did it (maybe once a month after that first year). Eventually I didnt do it anymore.

A few years later one day I woke up craving coke and baking soda. I drank that for nearly 2 weeks straight. Then I found out I was pregnant. Stopped doing it. My son is now almost 4. I think i did it three times after he was born. And now here i am doing it again. Baking soda and coke. The odd time I'm at a gas station I pick up one energy drink. But I dont know why I cant shake this weird "habit" that comes and goes. I dont know what to do.