Toxic

I finally broke up with my boyfriend of 5, almost 6 years after 3 years of being miserable on and off from how he treats me and his lying/ possible cheating which he’s still claiming he never cheated. Then comes the bomb that he was on drugs (pills and coke) for less than a year and thats why he lashed out (even though he started treating me like shit 3 years ago.) how the fuck am I so stupid where I never had a clue he was using? With our fucking child in the house! (Idk if he was actually in the house doing that but still.) i cant afford to move out, i just started college full time, have to go part time at my job and he watches our daughter while im in school/ at job but hes not gonna be willing to watch her while I go to school. Which is fine, but how the hell can I afford daycare/ living on my own/ etc.

He also wants me to be proud of him for quitting drugs. Ok, good for you but why the fuck would you do that when we have kids in the house and you know id leave your ass bringing our child if I found out sooner. How am i supposed to trust that he’s clean enough to watch our daughter now?