I posted a few days ago about being worried of random loss of symptoms and pretty noticeable and regular cramping after a fight with my now ex fiancé got physical. It shouldn’t have even been a fight, and quite frankly it didn’t seem real until hours later when I saw cuts and scratches all over my neck and shoulders. I hadn’t fought back physically, and essentially I’d been pinned down on the ground. I’d kind of gone into a daze and didn’t remember everything that happened or how half the marks got there. I left that afternoon with my puppy after packing up some necessities. I was still processing but at that point my main concern was just getting us out safely. I took pictures of everything, but I didn’t file a police report - my ex is a police officer and we lived in the city he works. If I called them it literally would be calling his friends or coworkers. At that point I just wanted to be out and it to be over.

I wasn’t really in pain until the next day, but the cramping became more and more noticeable and regular, and my symptoms were 90% gone after that (no more vomiting, I could eat everything again, etc). That’s when I posted on here and everyone said I should call my OB or go to the ER and get checked out. I got in the next day (so Wednesday). My OB really was so sweet about everything. They did an ultrasound, my baby is 12 weeks and healthy! They said even if I did get hit in the stomach the baby is pretty well protected now.

My OB wanted to document everything that happened, even if I didn’t want to press charges this way it would be on file. She also told me she contacted social services and wants me to start seeing a counselor who specializes in domestic abuse while pregnant. She wants me to call a domestic abuse hotline to get the best resources, and I understand that these resources are there to be used and I probably will call, but it feels surreal and I’m nervous to call. I feel so weird that it’s being called domestic abuse. Logically I know that’s what it was, and despite there being signs before and verbal abuse/manipulation, this was the first time it ever got physical. Again logically I know if it happens once it’s more than likely going to happen again, if not to be to the child and I left bc I do not want the child to be at risk.

But everything just feels so surreal. I had been engaged to the man I loved, together for years, and had been planning to spend my life with him, raise our baby together. The emotional abuse and manipulation had been going on here and there for over a year, but I only began recognizing it for what it was a few months ago. It started getting worse and more extreme, especially after I got pregnant, but he didn’t act like that all the time and sometimes I’d still see the guy I fell in love with. I kept hoping that he’d just stop acting mean and just like the guy I met and fell in love with and got engaged to, but yeah that doesn’t happen.

And now suddenly I’m single and pregnant, I’m 23 and staying with my parents again as I had to leave my own house, according to my file I’m now a victim of domestic abuse and my baby and I are already a social work case and now suddenly I have to go see a domestic abuse counselor and find a new apartment or house to rent and I just feel so completely overwhelmed. This happened Sunday and in the past week my entire life that I’ve built has been completely shaken. On one hand I’m glad for a fresh start, but it’s hard to really be “fresh” when I’m pregnant and now having to plan for a home I can afford alone that will be good for a baby, and a potential custody battle, and my ex works for the city I’m working to get hired by as well and have wanted to work for since I was a teenager. I’m just really struggling to process and needed to vent a bit