Pregnancy was a blessing for me after ttc for years. Unexplainable infertility and a solid negative line on all my pregnancy tests. Constant depression and anxiety over the fact that I couldn’t give my husband the ultimate gift. Feeling like I was coming up short, only half a woman. Feeling isolated whenever I saw friends announce pregnancies. Feeling irritated whenever family members would ask when we were having kids. I hated having to fake smile through it all and I prayed day in and day out for this baby. I’m pregnant now and I can’t wait to see him/her. There’s just one problem now though....pregnancy SUCKS.

I hate that I’m constantly nauseous no matter what I do. I hate how my favorite foods are enough to make me want to hurl and how the smell of hubby irritates me to no end. I hate the fact that water and prenatals also make me nauseous. I hate that stale AIR in a room makes me nauseous.

Because of my nausea I’ve been popping nausea meds like candy and sleeping constantly feeling like shit barely able to eat, I’ve got reflux, horrible skin, bags under my eyes, my hair is a mess, moving out of my bed is such a nauseating ordeal I dread every single time I have to get up to pee. I have gastrointestinal issues so I’m dealing with constipation AND diarrhea along with the worst case of bloat you’ve probably ever seen.

I wake up every day at 3am unable to go back to sleep so I fight nausea until I give in and take a sleeping pill to keep from vomiting up all baby’s nutrients I managed to choke down between doses of meds.

I’m realizing I’m still in the first trimester...one month to go until I reach the second trimester. It doesn’t help that because of Covid, I’m stuck isolated in my house to protect my unborn child and myself. I’m hoping and praying to God, Allah, Buddha and whoever else to please please get rid of these symptoms in the second trimester. I honestly don’t know if I’ll make it to the 3rd trimester without a mental breakdown otherwise.

Just needed to vent about how much pregnancy truly sucks. I envy those with no symptoms lol