Well after multiple faint lines, blood test confirmed I’m not pregnant. I feel so defeated. It’s been almost a year of trying. Letrozole isn’t helping, now my doctor wants to do more tests to see what’s going on and also test my boyfriend.

How do you just not want this anymore? How can I make myself decide that I don’t want this so I can stop being sad.

Everyone around me is getting pregnant. My best friend is pregnant and it’s so hard to try and be happy for her. Another friend just had a baby and is already trying for her second. I just give up. I don’t want to want this anymore. My heart can’t take it.

I guess I was only meant to have one child. I just don’t know what to do to make myself feel better anymore.