Seeking Revenge 😡

I’ve always had a problem with seeking revenge, I’m not sure it’s because of always being made fun of as a kid or my parents raising me in a somewhat unhealthy home. I was shy while growing up and never stood up for myself or defended myself when called racial slurs and ugly remarks. I stayed quiet and as I grew older I regretted not saying anything. I also didn’t have a voice at home, my parents always made me and my sisters feel inferior and were not allowed to have a say or an opinion in anything. As an adult and married with a new baby, I find I’m always vengeful and trying to get back at people who hurt me – even my own husband at times. I want to be a healthy person and not seek revenge, but I don’t know how to address it. Has anyone been through this and found a way to be better or know any solutions that may help?