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I’m so glad you know you deserve better cause you do. It sounds like you need to take a break from relationships and focus on you and your daughter.You’ll get your love story I know you will, but you have a lot of healing to do and you won’t be able to heal if you’re focusing on your daughter and on a relationship and yourself all at once. It’s possible if the person you’re getting to know is willing to be there, truly be there for you during this process and understands you.It’s okay to want comfort but it’s not okay to lose ourselves in something simply because we are afraid to lose it. We have to have our own backs first and foremost and love ourselves before expecting someone else to lose us the way we want to be loved.
long rant post
I’ve never been in a relationship til I met my daughter’s dad and we were together for 4 almost 5 years . I went through emotional, mental and physical abuse while being with him , but I can’t say everything was ALWAYS bad . There were good times too ! Since breaking up 2 years ago my love life has been shitty ! And I mean SHITTTTTY ! I fell for a guy 6weeks after having my daughter (childhood friend , NEVER had sex) I was in a dark place after having her and he came lifted me off my feet. (My daughter dad was in prison after hitting me while pregnant , if you’re wondering). Oh man , he would come over in the mornings I’d cook breakfast , we would cuddle up watch movies or sleep until it was time for him to go to work . If my daughter needed anything he was here before I could say “bye” on the phone! Lol I mean it was everything I wanted just to be comforted or was I just vulnerable? Because after the first 5 months . It seem like he changed from comforting me to using me . It went from “I need” or “can you help me” and guess what I do 🙄 . I didn’t have a problem with helping because he helped with my daughter like she was his OWN ! BUT months go by it’s the same shit , I didn’t talk to other guys. I didn’t find interest in anyone but him (kinda put myself in a fake ass relationship) only because I didn’t want to be hurt by another guy. He understood & we finally just decided to be TOGETHER. So boom 💥 months go by I hear someone may be pregnant but I didn’t believe “cause he’s always here” yeah right😒 then he cheated when he went out of town with his “best friend” .. I just felt so stupid because it like I KNEW but I still denied it because I didn’t want to lose something I felt I needed at the time .. I’m not gonna go into detail but long story short we ended up breaking up, he still calls and check on my daughter an ask if she needs anything. After him and my child’s father I just don’t think relationships are for me ?! I mean I want to be loved and feel loved , but why is it taking so long ? I miss late night rides , cuddles , talks , those forehead kisses etc ? I mean when am I gonna get my Ken ? Lol I’m sorry for the rant but I needed to vent ! I’m sick of being lonely but I refuse to settle when I know I deserve better.💕
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Girl your last sentence sums it up! You deserve better, and sometimes it takes time to get “better”. You gotta think, whoever you are meant to be with deserves you at your best. The best version of you maybe involves your spending some time on your own! I was single for three looong years before I met my husband. By the time we found each other, we were both in the exact spot in our lives where everything just fell into place. It was amazing 😩 I know that’s out there for ya. You just have to be patient (which is literally the worst, trust me I know 😂). But once you find that guy, you’ll know the wait was so worth it, and you’ll be stronger after spending time on your own ♥️
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