I’ve never been in a relationship til I met my daughter’s dad and we were together for 4 almost 5 years . I went through emotional, mental and physical abuse while being with him , but I can’t say everything was ALWAYS bad . There were good times too ! Since breaking up 2 years ago my love life has been shitty ! And I mean SHITTTTTY ! I fell for a guy 6weeks after having my daughter (childhood friend , NEVER had sex) I was in a dark place after having her and he came lifted me off my feet. (My daughter dad was in prison after hitting me while pregnant , if you’re wondering). Oh man , he would come over in the mornings I’d cook breakfast , we would cuddle up watch movies or sleep until it was time for him to go to work . If my daughter needed anything he was here before I could say “bye” on the phone! Lol I mean it was everything I wanted just to be comforted or was I just vulnerable? Because after the first 5 months . It seem like he changed from comforting me to using me . It went from “I need” or “can you help me” and guess what I do 🙄 . I didn’t have a problem with helping because he helped with my daughter like she was his OWN ! BUT months go by it’s the same shit , I didn’t talk to other guys. I didn’t find interest in anyone but him (kinda put myself in a fake ass relationship) only because I didn’t want to be hurt by another guy. He understood & we finally just decided to be TOGETHER. So boom 💥 months go by I hear someone may be pregnant but I didn’t believe “cause he’s always here” yeah right😒 then he cheated when he went out of town with his “best friend” .. I just felt so stupid because it like I KNEW but I still denied it because I didn’t want to lose something I felt I needed at the time .. I’m not gonna go into detail but long story short we ended up breaking up, he still calls and check on my daughter an ask if she needs anything. After him and my child’s father I just don’t think relationships are for me ?! I mean I want to be loved and feel loved , but why is it taking so long ? I miss late night rides , cuddles , talks , those forehead kisses etc ? I mean when am I gonna get my Ken ? Lol I’m sorry for the rant but I needed to vent ! I’m sick of being lonely but I refuse to settle when I know I deserve better.💕