The reason I am writing this now is because I have come upon the month that marks 1 year since I had my 1st miscarriage. I found out a week before my son turned 10 months old. I was scared, nervous, and excited all at the same time. I even had my intake appointment. And then a week after I got my confirmation, I started bleeding. Heavily. I called my doctor and she said to come and do another hpt. And sadly it came back negative.

I had my first ever miscarriage. That's when I first heard the term chemical pregnancy. And now, it's been a year and I've had 3 more, the most recent one being last month. 😭😭😭😭

I keep hoping and praying for my rainbow baby to come but all I've gotten is disappointment and frustration and anger and sadness.

And now, my one friend along with my cousin both just announced that they are pregnant. So now I am trying to calm the raging jealousy inside my body. But I am failing. Hopefully soon this feeling will subside and I can keep up my act.

I hope and pray that my rainbow baby comes soon....😭🙏🌈