I don’t have problems with scars, I just have problems with this scar.

It reminds me of what little information I had about c-sections, and due to my emergency c-section I went through a lot of unnecessary pain during my ‘recovery’ that could have been easily avoided.

I haven’t worn ‘real pants’ since I tried squeezing into my old jeans at 2 months postpartum. I have been trying to find jeans that will fit but being in-between women’s and teens sizes it is impossible to find ones that fit and don’t add pressure to my scar.

I don’t like the puckering skin and the ‘pooch’ that I can’t get rid of. I don’t like the placement of my scar. I remember them telling me that I would be able to wear a bikini and no one would see the incision. I wish I could have moved it up a few inches from my hair line.

I am not resentful my baby had to come out of my stomach, I am not hateful towards my body needing help, I appreciate and love those who had the skills to keep myself and our daughter alive.

But I don’t like my scar, and that’s okay.