Scars after miscarriage. Kinda long sorry.

I had a bad miscarriage. Found out baby was dead at first ultrasound 7w2d. It must have died the night before or that morning because my dates were exact. Bang on exact. The baby didn't let go until aug 1st/2nd at 1am. It was bad. I thought okay good maybe with it being strong it will pass quickly. No. At 3am I called my stepdad to take me to the ER so my husband could stay with our son who is 5 now. Between 1am and 5am when I had blood drawn at the hospital my hemoglobin dropped down to 74. They did an exam after I was still bleeding heavily in the ER and found a fully intact placenta stuck in my cervix and they had to remove it by pulling it gently. It still hurt like hell. After that most of the bleeding and pain stopped but by noon my hemoglobin had dropped down to 70. They got two units of blood ready for me and started at 5pm, it was almost 12am by the time both bags were done. I have lots of saline and one bag of electrolytes. The thing is I'm afraid of another one. I had no veins so for them to do the blood tests I got poked about 10 times and they only drew blood 4 times. They had to take it from the back of my hand. I had one IV in my right elbow and the other was in my right wrist in the vein that goes along your thumb. I don't remember anything but creaming when they did that one. My stepdad was out of the room and he thought it was a baby crying until he came in. I remember the feeling of blood running down my hand and around my wrist. I had it stuck under and around my nail for a week. It makes my heart hurt when everytime I'm washing my hands or something and I'm looking at my hands there's a scar on my wrist below my thumb from the IV. It's the only physical visible thing of my miscarriage. Except the dent in my skull from passing out and hitting it on a door frame and small scar on my back from landing on the wheel of one of those laundry carts they keep by the bathrooms but you can't see those. Everything except one small dark scar on my wrist is on the inside of me and I never thought anything could make me hurt so badly in my whole life. I want another baby so badly and were TTC now, I'm only on CD12 of a normal 45 day cycle so I won't ovulate till cd29/30/31 but I'm afraid that my hopes will be up and then I'll have to do that all over again. I won't be able to mentally handle it. I suffer from life long depression from a serotonin imbalance and this almost broke me. My son was an oops baby from antibiotics and BCP. I just want another oops baby.