My 7 year old daughter has always struggled with following the rules and doing chores/tasks. Her dad and I have worked very hard with her over the years and I have seen some improvements as she’s gotten older but she is still putting in very minimal effort. If she doesn’t think she will be rewarded she doesn’t put in effort because in her mind there’s no point. And when I say reward I don’t mean a verbal praise. We always praise her verbally for her effort but that isn’t enough for her. She thinks minimum effort should deserve candy, toys, etc. I’m not sure why she has that expectation because it has never been that way. I’m not sure how to break her from this way of thinking.

For example, she is supposed to wipe the table after a meal and she will spend 10 seconds wiping it down but it will still be dirty and then she expects to be “clipped up” on her chart even though she didn’t actually clean the table. I have to ask her to redo it almost every single time and then I thank her and tell her it looks great. We use the clip chart because it was recommended by her teachers. I also use it for my 2 year old.

We do not expect perfection. I realize she is only 7. But I know she has the skills to do things but she refuses to put in the effort. I explained to her that she can’t put in minimum effort and expect maximum rewards. I can give both of my kids the same task and my 2YO will complete the task perfectly, meanwhile my 7YO does it half assed and then expects rewards (2YO wasn’t rewarded either). But I know my 7YO should be much more capable of these tasks than my 2YO. And yes my 7YO was like this as a toddler so it isn’t something that just started or changed with age. It has always been this way.

I don’t know what to do. We’ve been consistent, she knows our expectations, she knows the rules, we have given her the skills for these tasks, and yet we repeatedly have the same problems over and over again.