Relationship advice!

Here’s a nice cliché head vs heart scenario.

Any advice is appreciated because I’m lost atm.

So 4 years ago, I ended up in my first adult relationship (we will call him X)

Just over 2 years ago it ended. We were very happy and if I knew then what I know now, I don’t think we would have even split 🤷🏻‍♀️

It ended on my terms but I left and met someone else (who was a rebound fling) and then traded him in for another (who we will call Z).

So I’ve been with Z for over 2 years now and it’s been a very bumpy ride. Ive even moved cities with him! I truly believed I love this guy and I honestly still believe I do - but it’s limited.

The one thing that’s been consistently a downfall is our sex life! Now, the sex itself I cannot complain about... its Everything else! No foreplay, no teasing, no initiation or anything. I’m actually starting to feel sick during sex now.

Yes, we’ve spoke about it. In fact we’ve had at least 20 conversations about it in the last 10 months. As you can understand;I don’t have much faith that it’s going to improve now...

By natural subconscious thought processes guy X has been popping up in my mind. I’m aware that there’s a comparison there because me and X never had this issue. Even through until the end the sex was right where I needed it! But Z just doesn’t try.

Now I’ve been questioning this thought process for a while and believed it was a sign to get back with the ex, HOWEVER, that’s not what this post is about.

What I need help with is deciding if I can live without the sex I want because I love him OR if I move on and go sexploring for a while?

This situation really frustrates me as I’ve made it clear what I need from him but it just doesn’t seem to sink in...