My husband kept using I’m stubborn to win every argument because everytime he say that he won’t even listen to any explanation or anything and he would be angry if I don’t give in first so nowadays if he say I said that I have to agree and believe I said something I had never did..I don’t know what to do I don’t want to leave him even though the relationship has been really toxic from the beginning and I’m never allowed to talk about it. I want my old self back but I’m afraid I’ll never be myself ever again. He will only get annoyed and angry if I tell him about my feelings. To be honest it’s all my fault from being so afraid of leaving in the past that now a baby and 7 years later I’m stuck and I feel like I will never find love ever again.

In front of him, I can’t cry because he’ll get angry

I can’t talk about feelings like being depressed or childhood trauma because he say it irritates him to hear that. So I can only keep it to myself and sometimes it kills me