We’ve been together about 10 months, and just about a month and a half ago, he told me that apparently this whole time, he’s had “unsatisfying orgasms” with me. He says how it’s hard for him to orgasm and that even though he is turned on when we start having sex, then he just says it’s like he “can’t feel anything.” I’ve never heard a past partner say anything like to me before, and I’m at a total loss of what to do and how to make sense of this.

To make matters feel more hurtful, he’s said how he hasn’t experienced this with past partners... just with me. And then goes on to say that it’s not about attraction, I’m so beautiful, etc. So... it feels like there’s something wrong with me or he’s implying that I’m “loose.” I haven’t had kids before, although I don’t know what difference that would make. I don’t understand it at all.

There’s no lack of him saying he loves me, etc., but then goes on to say how he’s not sure how to “commit to me” when he’s “worried” about this... since he “wants that pleasure.” He went on to tell me how maybe a week ago he was “feeling really horny” and had a “really satisfying” orgasm masturbating. He went on to say that it must not be something physical with him if he can orgasm that way, which he doesn’t do very often. He even said that considered trying to “talk me into a threesome” to “get the pleasure” he wants. I feel disgusted and hurt. He is apologetic and says how it’s such a sensitive issue, so that’s why he’s been so reluctant to bring it up.

I feel totally turned off to the idea of being sexual with him at this point, and don’t know what to think. It feels like a total mind fuck...

Any and all thoughts or ideas are welcomed. I am at a total loss and it’s brought up this insecurity that I haven’t had around sex before.

💔...

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