My in laws who live 3/4hrs away have been complaining that they don’t see our daughter. I send them 20+ photos every month, but we’ve only seen them twice this year for a few hours each time. My 18 month old has never really bonded with them. We’ve only visited them once, this is due to their behaviour towards me - they changed once our little one was born - started being disrespectful, alcohol related issues and they don’t initiate conversations with me or eye contact. For whatever reason, they have an issue with me.

Anyway, just had a visit from them and they were actually being kind and engaging towards me. They’ve done a 360 degree turn on their behaviour. I was starting to wonder why...... turns out they are going to get in touch with me soon to ask permission to have some alone time with my 18M old whilst they pay for husband to have a birthday treat away with me. I’m not sure if it’s a day or a weekend or what at this point.

The answer is going to be No, because as a mother, I can’t trust people who are insincere. As a mother I can’t force by toddler who is still a baby at this age to spend time with people she has not bonded with or comfortable with.

How can I communicate this to them without causing a big drift? I have no doubt that their recent kind behaviour is due to them trying to get on to my good side. It might also be due to the fact that I am now 19 weeks pregnant and they are probably hoping for alone time with my toddler when the new baby comes 🤷🏻‍♀️