Issues with mom

So my mom has this idea that she demands respect. She's my mom so being rude or disrespectful is not an option. Its just not who I am regardless. But 3 years ago she crossed the line..in my opinion. We were talking and the conversation went sideways. I was driving and she got loud and told me sge we'd beat my ass. And its been hard to have her understand as an adult there are some things just not okay. For me this was one of them! It was like it was like a secret attack. She was staying at my house and had keys to a car..but she insisted I take her to a hotel..without me knowing why. At anybrate I took her and this went down. I pulled over into a parking lot and called the police. I am not about to have words and potential fight with my mom. Now after 3 years and 2 kids she wants an apology. Doesn't see that she talks ugly or that she doesn't care to have a healthy relationship with her daughter or her grandchildren. She hasn't even seen my kids. Or checked up on me during my pregnancies. But wants the red carpet treatment because she's the mom. Thoughts?