I really need to vent. I need some support.... on 06-20-20 i loss my 15mos 3weeks old baby. I can't speak on what happened to him just yet. My point of this post, 35 days after he died i found out i was pregnant. 10wks later i had my, what i thought was my first appointment for OB. It turned out to be a appointment for primary care, the day i went i was bleeding, just light spotting. Later that day i got heavier bleeding, so i went to the ER. They did a ultrasound and told me i was only 5wk. I told them i should be 10wks i just had a appointment hours earlier. So i had another ultrasound thats was a hour long, after hours of waiting the doctor told me i had a ''missed miscarriage'' i was showing at this point so i was confused on how? How did i go to the doctor at 9am and she is telling me im 10wks, only to get to the ER at 5pm and they tell me im only 6wks 5days. My baby stopped growing. And im just devastated. I moved to Cleveland from Columbus last year and every since, i have felt alone. I know it was just homesick, but i slowly got over it, and now that the baby is gone. I feel like im alone, i have to two other son's from my last marriage(11&9) they don't like to see me cry. Later I was told both by my boyfriends mom and him they can't support me the way i need. They say i bring the mood down, because i cry about out baby. His mom did not come to the baby's repass. And been mad at me every since. She talked to me last june 23 at the funeral home, the next time was August 29th, she said she needed her own space, she needs her own pink bubble worry free. She says she needs to be away from me, she can't support me, ita about her and her son, because '' we don't have a connection now that the baby is gone'' mind you i known her for 3.5yrs prior. ( been together 5yrs) Now i feel like i have now one to turn to here, all my family is in Columbus. I can't talk to him about baby blu or the miscarriage, because in his words 'he didn't have a connection with it' my heart hurts and i feel like i have no one left. He should be the one i can speak freely about it, without him feeling im bringing him down.

Sorry for the long post the last 91days have been hard. Vent over