My family wants me to choose between them and my boyfriend

Long post but please help: My family (parents & siblings) does not like my boyfriend who I have been with for 17 months now. So I am almost 21 years old and my boyfriend is 19. I am a college student in the BSN program and my boyfriend is about to start working in construction. My family says that he is lazy and will not be a good provider and that I will be the one busting my ass and doing everything while he sits around. When my boyfriend is around my family he is quiet because he knows that they do not like him and he is afraid to say anything because he does not want to offend them. When we are around my family we are basically walking on eggshells. My boyfriend tries to talk to them but they ignore him and go on with what they are doing. When we are with his family we are laughing and joking and we all have a good time. His family thinks that we are great together and that we should get married and my family told me to choose between him and them. They act like I am always with him but I only see him on the weekends and sometimes throughout the week if I do not have too much school work or have to go to work. He is very supportive of me and talks about wanting to get married and having babies with me. He also has a learning disorder and has a little bit of a speech problem but it is not bad and honestly I think it’s cute. I feel like my mom is just being really judge mental. My mom told me she was disappointed in me, that I am disrespectful, and that I am a smart girl but that I am stupid for being with him. Backstory: my mom was married at 18 to her high school sweetheart and it ended in divorce and she tells me she sees me going down the same path. She also told me that if I choose him that she is cutting off all my help with college that I am about to start getting from my dad who is a veteran. So she would cut off all the help I have and almost wants me to struggle. What do I do? Do I believe my family or is it just because they want me to be with a “more successful” person... Am I in the wrong or are my parents closed minded and not giving him a chance? How do I make my decision?