sad? anyone else?

anyone sad about being pregnant? i’m 20+3 weeks and don’t really have family around me. my husband is just doing his own thing and i feel like i’m all alone? also due to covid-19 i have to go to all the prenatal appts myself including the anatomy scan. i have an anterior placenta so i can’t feel baby at all. he’s our rainbow baby, our first one, i’ve waited so long for him and now that he’s growing inside me i should feel so happy right? where’s the bond that i’m supposed to have? pretty sure i’m a bad mother.