Marriage sucks

Hey lovely people!

So me and my husband gave been married a year now, we have been together nearly 5 years. We have a 20 month old son together. Since having my son I have put on a little bit of weight and gone up a dress size. Before my son I was a size 8 now I’m a 10, I’m not massive but I feel it. Anyway I’ll start at the beginning, he left his ex partner who he has 2 children with, he said she was fat and lazy and lots of horrible rbi ha about her. We got together not long after and have been together ever since. Before our son we were very happy, always having fun together. Since our little boy and we got married things have changed massively. He makes comments about my weight. Says horrible things to me. Constantly moans if I spend any money, I mean if I buy a tub of ice cream he moans. My dad gave me my birthday money so I brought new decor for the front room, he moaned. I then go and turn the heating on and he shouts at me to turn it off. No 🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s bloody freezing grow up.

The other day we were messing around with my friend saying how he can be very shallow and prefers looks and he chose wrong with me now. I messed around saying if me and another friend of mine who is absolutely beautiful was in a room he would obviously go for her if he diddnt know me, his words were yeah but so would 90% of the population, he realised what he said after and apologised. But he said it and thought it. I don’t feel enough. I feel like I’m just his go to now that we have a child together. He doesn’t want to start again after he did from his ex so I feel like I’m just that person he is ‘stuck with’ yes I try and have this conversation with him but it never goes well. it’s always I’m over reacting it’s all in my head. He always says he can’t do it anymore. But I honestly think it’s getting to me so much now. I’m so bloody miserable all the time. I love him but I’m so unhappy. I don’t know what I am meant to do anymore. I can’t keep living like this. But don’t want to admit defeat. I just want us to be happy in life.