That sinking feeling

Af came today. I was 9 days late. I can't help but feel super defeated even though I had several negative pregnancy tests I was still hoping and being late seemed like a good sign.

I'm feeling really frustrated with this process. I just turned 30 and can't help feeling like maybe I've waited too long to start a family. I deal with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder and I feel like this process is making it worse.

Not to mention there's so many people who are breaking the #1 rule of this TTC group and announcing their pregnancies. It's really hurtful to me and I want to use this app for support but I'm thinking of trying to find one where there's not a social aspect to it.

It just hurts to see positive tests, announcements, gender reveals, ultrasounds and babies and wonder when is it my turn. I'm truly happy for the women that have been blessed but I still feel bitter that it's not me.

Sorry for complaining but I know there has to be other women out there who are feeling the same way.