Just a sad vent

My niece is a beautiful vibrant little toddler. She also has an extra chromosome.

Down Syndrome has been a big part of my life since forever. In high school one of my best friends was also part of the lucky few. I love and adore her. In college I started teaching special education and volunteering with special Olympics. Because of my friend in high school my life has been richly blessed by those 3 chromosomes.

My sister in law is a public “advocate” for Down Syndrome. But, secretly behind closed doors she’s doing major damage. I don’t know if it’s CPS worthy. I’ve seen something’s being an educator. It’s hard when it’s family. I need advice.

Her daughter is on a diet because she notices some people with DS tend to gain weight due to low muscle tone. She is severely underweight and suffering health problems because of it. She fibs to the doctors because she wants a “pretty, thin daughter”

She already is putting limits on this sweet girl. Saying she hopes she isn’t as dumb as she appears. Telling us all she hopes she can be aware enough to load groceries because that’s all people with Down Syndrome can do.

She’s just extremely negative about her. But, online she’s written this fake life.

I imagine it is difficult to have a child with special needs. But, something is off. This isn’t normal. I’ve met and talked with many parents of children with different abilities and needs and this seems different.

She turns away from her mom when she approaches, she refuses affection from her. There is no natural comfort watching them together.

I realize it’s their life and their relationship. But, when can one step in and say something or help them seek help?

She’s also expecting another baby and is constantly saying how excited she is to “experience real motherhood”

She’s processing and I am trying to give her space to do that, but, it feels so icky to me.

I’ve tried to gently remind her that her daughter is listening. But, she just tells me that she will probably never understand anything, it’s frustrating to watch