One and done - are you worried ?

Question

We planned to be one and done and I’m 11m out and for some reason can’t get rid of baby things or make a permanent decision. Some part of me thinks we’ll have another because that’s what everyone says is best. OAD moms, do you worry you’ll regret it in the long run?

Answer

I think there's was definitely a period of time, right around my daughter's first birthday, where I thought to myself "This is it. No more newborn cuddles. No more baby coos. No more firsts." And I did get a little sad. But then I remembered only getting 4 hours of sleep at night. And the constant anxiety that comes with caring for a newborns. And the painful pregnancy/delivery/postpartum period. 
And new firsts are still happening all the time! I love that I can give my daughter all of my love and attention. Now that she's nearly two, the toddler outbursts, attitude, and total meltdowns in public have definitely made me 100% sure I'm closing shop on having another. 
On another note, kids are expensive and I want to give her the best of everything. Having another would just mean my husband and I would have to work more and we wouldn't be around to enjoy our family as much. 
Of course there's still the awkwardness when our families ask "When's the next one? Are you really sure she's going to be an only child?" My response: when you got it right the first time, you don't need another! 🥰

Answer

Our kid was a surprise (a happy surprise, but nonetheless, very much a surprise), and we decided while I was pregnant that we’d be OAD. The horrible newborn phase really cemented that decision for us both. Like you, I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of the baby stuff for some reason, even though I knew that even if I changed my mind, my partner was for sure not interested in another. I brought it up the other day how I needed to get rid of baby stuff, and much to my surprise, my partner said he’d consider having another child if I get a new job with different hours / better pay. I was absolutely FLOORED, because I was sure he didn’t want any more kids. This threw a real wrench in my plans, because I definitely want another one now. 😂 I’m looking for a new job as we speak. I think what you need to do is just make some time to sit down with your husband and thoroughly discuss how your life would look if you stay OAD, and then how it’d look if you have another child. Which future looks more appealing to you both?

Answer

Not a OAD mom but I think what your feeling is normal. 
I have 2 and we’ve decided to be done and I still struggle at times with getting rid of the things my kids are too big for now. Like what if???

Answer

How does your husband feel about it? Why not just have another?

Answer

Honestly no. It took us 3 years to finally get our son and hes almost 6 months now. I dont think i can emotionally and mentally go thru the every month let down again. With the added lack of attention for my son would kill me more. I feel we have the perfect family now. Mom,dad, bby and our two dogs! We will add more dogs as he gets older but the # of bbys will stay the same. I cant wait to watch him grow up into an amazing person!💜😊 and no matter who you are there will always be those ppl who say more is better! And to that i just say ok then you go have more...
Right from the start i was very clear with everybody that my husband and I  are one and doners! Theyll all tease but sadly theyll just have to wait for my sisters to produce one in like ten years!!!😅

Answer

Yeah that’s a good point it’s mostly this emotional instability that I think “we are OAD” but have a difficult time giving away things or planning long term. Maybe that’s a normal thing parents go through even if they have multiples..

Answer

We are one and done. No regrets, no worries, no debate. Are both of you on the same page?

Answer

I thought I was a one and done and ended up having another 10 years later
I mean clearly there’s better stuff that long after so I didn’t care 
But if your thinking you may in the next few years then hold onto your stuff 
Worse case scenario is you end up holding onto stuff

One and done - are you worried ?

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