I’m with a great man. I went to college in his hometown, and we ended up settling down here. He has some cool friends he’s known since childhood that I’m glad to have in mine and my child’s life now too.

Naturally, when he wanted me to meet his long time friend and his wife, who had moved across the state several years ago, I was excited. They had a daughter and were expecting another, and she worked in a similar field as me. I was pregnant at the time, and he mentioned she had some baby supplies to pass along to us. We met for lunch and after we ate, things got weird.

She was a very very very extroverted girl at lunch, divulging LOTS of TMI info about her sex life, fights with her husband, etc. Again this was my first time meeting her, but I brushed it off as her just having that type of relationship with my husband. She was also drinking pretty heavily for lunch, so maybe she was nervous to meet me and passed her limit. Whatever.

Then she went on and on and on about how she had brought us “$3000 worth of supplies” for our baby which I found to be a little tacky. Sure enough, it was 3 size XL storage bins filled to the brim with baby clothes in various sizes. My husband told me in the car he was a little offended, and I had to agree. We definitely can afford our own things for our daughter, and he mentioned that he specifically told her we didn’t need anything. I was a little torn about whether she was just making a nice gesture, or making a statement about our “inability” to choose and purchase our own baby clothes. Now I’m sure it’s the latter.

We got home, opened the boxes and the REEKED of cigarette smoke. I looked through the boxes and most of the clothes were raggedy, stained, and 100% of them not my taste. Some had even been washed so many times that the fabric felt hard and stiff. I planned on putting them in a donation box, but I was heavily pregnant and never got around to it.

The wife asked for my phone number and my husband gave it to her, but warned me she was as annoying and not to view his friend in a negative way. I didn’t fully understand until I realized she would soon be contacting me over text multiple times a day, asking me very personal questions about my pregnancy. “How much do you weigh?” “Do you think your relationship is strong enough to have a baby?” “What is your discharge like?” Then when I ignored her she’d text “hello? Hello?” Oh side note: she’s in her 30’s... not 15 😬

What really drove me over the edge is when she found out I was in labor (my husband probably posted something on Facebook, I’m not sure I don’t use Facebook lol) SHE CALLED MY PHONE 4 TIMES. I didn’t see until after delivering, but I opened my phone to see that this woman who I barely know was desperately trying to contact me, even texting me “you’ve been in labor a while, what’s going on? Baby here?” My husband noticed several missed calls and a plethora of Facebook messages from her too. “I can’t reach your wife! Did she tear? Is she still in labor? It’s been a long time. That’s not normal.” I was genuinely so irritated. The only thing keeping me from calling her and telling her to piss off was my husband’s friendship with her husband.

Now that my daughter is earth side, I’ve been getting more questions: “how many hours is she sleeping?” “What color are her poops?” “Have your breasts experienced let down?” I’m genuinely so irritated but again, I usually ignore her or answer her less weird questions to avoid affecting my husband’s friendship with hers in any way. It’s hilarious how many times she contacts me despite my very short and disinterested responses. I have myself thinking “is she REAL??”

What’s really not hilarious though, is her endless unsolicited advice: “I saw on your Instagram page you had a bottle of destin in your diaper bag. Destin makes diaper rashes worse. We only use aquaphor...” “is that a dock a tot? You actually bought that overpriced thing? Return it, here’s a link for a dupe.” “The baby bjorn causes hip dysplasia. There’s a different brand one in the biggest box I sent you. You need to use it. Here is a pic of me by the way using it.” “Have you bought the aquaphor yet? Why not? You’re going to ruin your baby’s skin with destin, I already told you.” She also keeps texting me about her sex life out of the blue, and even admitting to using marijuana, “cocaine just one time” and smoking on a vape during her pregnancy and breastfeeding. I really would rather not know about that, and all it does is make me think I should call DCFS.

Well, now I’m really getting fed up. She “confronted me” the other day about how I haven’t dressed my child in any of her clothes, insisting I give her the clothes back for her to sell because I’m apparently “ungrateful.” I really have tried to be polite and show my gratitude, but I’m not dressing my firstborn in old, gross, cigarette-smelling clothes from someone I barely know... especially given they aren’t even attractive, in my opinion. I REALLY want her to piss off. I find her rude, overbearing, and I simply can’t respect someone who uses drugs during their pregnancy or breastfeeding. I need advice though. If I stopped playing nice and neutral, would she cause a scene and hurt my husband’s friendship with her husband? My husband thinks so. I just can’t stand her and want her out of my hair.

Edit: another concern of mine is not only affecting my husband’s friendship with her husband, but her making a fuss about me publicly. I’m still getting to know a lot of my husband’s old friends, and I don’t want to have a bad reputation with the ones I don’t know very well. When we were at lunch (again my first time meeting her), she had so many negative things to say about many of his friends’ wives. “____ dresses so badly” “oh her? SHE’S an anorexic bitch” “oh I think ___ cheats on ___.”