My now ex-boyfriend is supposed to be moving out today. All he has done these few days is approach me, constantly, to tell me how terrible I am for leaving him. I try to maintain my calm and then he calls me even more terrible for “not being upset” about it. I will literally walk away and try to lock myself in my room and he will still follow me. Call me 30+ times. Leave me numerous voicemails if I won’t answer.

We both have kids but not with each other. He keeps trying to make me feel guilty for breaking up. We’ve only been together one year and our kids are still so young. The reason i want to leave is because we constantly fight. I mean, every single day. And it isn’t bickering. It’s toxic. Screaming, yelling. He even gets into my face. He’ll fight with me right in front of the kids. I’ve tried leaving him so many times and every time he will do something sweet or nice. This time I told him to get out or I’m calling the police.

He has had a month to gather his things. He agreed to move out a month ago because our plan was to try to work it out without living together. Nope, recently I realized I just can’t handle this anymore. So he’s telling me I intentionally led him on but I really didn’t. My name is on rent and all of our bills. I’m the only one who has paid for October rent. Yet he still says he’s allowed to just come over unannounced to take his things. Didn’t even call or text me, just shows up and grabs one little thing.

The other reason we’re breaking up is because he’s so insecure. One day, a friend of mine brought to light that he isn’t just insecure, he is controlling and borderline emotionally abusive. This guy will NOT leave me alone. He says I’m looking for attention whenever I put makeup on and want to dress nice. Told me i am “asking for it” because I want to go to the gym even though some creeps are there. Questions me constantly whenever I am with a girlfriend (s), demands he meets them and they need to come over to our house instead. Mind you, this is a church group so we meet at CHURCH or a restaurant and I’ve never met any of their boyfriends either. He called me while I am at work (I’m an ICU nurse) to accuse me of hiding my photos of us on Facebook from my coworkers since it didn’t get enough likes for him. He will hoover anytime I text and accuse me of talking to men even when it’s my friends or family, and here’s the thing, I’ve never done anything to not be trusted plus he constantly accuses me of lying when I’m not! I showed him my phone once just to shut him up and he told me I went and deleted everything! He will slam my doors, throw things (he broke my deodorant), pull the sheets and blankets off of me if im in bed or on the couch while arguing, demanding I speak to him when I tell him to leave me alone. Just the other day, he insinuated I was a whore because I’ve slept with two guys in one week five years ago yet he’s had threesomes and his body count is higher than mine. Someone told me he is emotionally abusive and I just don’t understand how I’ve missed all of this or if it was so gradual that i missed it.

I am honestly scared at this point. I am truly worried he won’t ever leave me alone and i will need to involve the police. I already took his key and I’m going to change the garage code if he doesn’t stop showing up to my house.

Update - He is out and so are most of his things. I left him unblocked for when he needs the rest however he won’t stop leaving me voicemails. I have about six that are 2-3 minutes apart. So I did block him just now, so he calls on unknown. Now I’m blocking all unknown callers but it still allows him to leave voicemails. It is so annoying. My only option is to turn off my voicemail function but I think it turns them all off, not just from one number. The other is to change my number and that’s going to suck considering how many places and people have my number