Hi everyone, I just want to share my emotions here. I'm pregnant with our second baby, very planned and wanted one.

I told my mother the other day and though she was relatively happy for me and congratulated us, she said: well, now you can say goodbye to your career and salary. When she saw that I was upset, she added: you had to think earlier, before you got pregnant.

I have a very stressful and demanding but quite respectful job, which is quite far from my town and I commute 1 hour each direction every day. It also requires extra hours from time to time, but the worst thing is that it's very difficult to have any leave days even when my child is sick (they have 4 child sickness days per year, as if kids are sick only 4 days a year!). I see my daughter 3 hours a day, after a come back and before she goes to sleep.

My husband also works full time. Our daughter is in kindergarten, but when she's sick, one of us has to stay home to take care of her. My mother also works fulltime, so she can't babysit her granddaughter. The only option left is a nanny, but my husband is strictly against nannies. Also, it would mean that most of my salary (80%) goes straight to the nanny- which makes my job kind of meaningless. It's not that my salary is low- is that in my country nannies are very well-paid.

So I have to agree with my mother, that after giving birth to our second one, I will have to leave my work (my husband earns more than me) and find a part-time job close to my town. Which means that it will be a low-salary low-status job.

I have already considered all these factors with my husband. And there are two options: to stay at the current job and have only 1 child, or compromise with smaller salary and have 2 children. I know that I want to have 2 children! But my mother's reaction has really upset me. For her, would it be better if I would stayed at the present job and gave up the second child idea altogether? She says she want grandchildren, the more the better. So why does she contradict herself???